I have been a mom for over ten years now. Like anything, once you have been doing it a while you figure out tricks that help you along the way be more effective, happy and like the overall process more. Let’s be honest, motherhood is a process too! Not just a journey of raising our children, but in many ways, evolving and growing ourselves while in the chaos of motherhood.

In fact, I am not at all the same mom that I was when I had my first daughter of ten years ago. Back then, my house was quiet and manageable with just my husband and myself and our sweet one child. I was actually planning play dates to create some stimulation for her during her toddler years. Ten years later, I have had two more daughters since my first, added two dogs to the family and a cat and a handful of fish too. Rarely do I have enough time to manage a play date for my third child and if I did, I might have them help me fold laundry rather than doing an age appropriate game.

Clearly, my role has changed over the last decade, I have changed and motherhood as I knew it is completely different. All of this is to be expected as a family grows and evolves in the process of raising a family. What I didn’t expect was that I would have to be selective and even careful at times with other moms. What I didn’t know then that I have figured out now, is that there are a lot of “Drama Mama’s” in our field of motherhood and we have to be careful not to give what little energy we have left to them and their daily drama.

Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way. I was always trying help rescue moms who somehow managed to get them self into some silly drama in their neighborhood, in school, our even with their own husband. What I figured out along the way is that some moms create this drama and actually enjoy staying stuck in this state. What I also realized is that I was wiped out from it and had little energy to put toward the things I actually wanted to accomplish at the end of my day when my kids were settled and in bed. I was exhausted from their drama. How silly is that? I realize that we are all in the journey of motherhood together, but some us go about it differently and want to accomplish various things from the journey. For me, a peaceful home, laughter and honesty were key things I wanted from other mom friends - not gossiping, picking other moms apart and bashing my husband all day long. With that, in the process of motherhood, I had to start being selective and careful who I gave my time and energy to and I learned weeding out the “Drama Mama” was a huge part of regaining my energy back!

There is a great news and it is that we do have a choice in who we spend our energy on as moms. Obviously, our kids and family, but even as we grow and evolve in this journey, be selective who you choose to hang around on a daily basis. I once read that you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with each day. That is a powerful statement and worth taking a moment to ponder if those who you spend the most time with, are helping you grow, inspiring and encouraging you on a daily basis and trying to build you up rather than tear you down. If so, than chances are you are doing the same.