Have you ever noticed that part of being a mom is trying to be the best version of yourself everyday, all day long? It is a hard task to live up to that each and everyday. I realized this a few years ago when pulling through McDonald’s. It was a hectic day with my three kiddos in tow. I was tired and needed a diet coke to get through the push of the afternoon. I rolled down my window and said, “A diet coke, please.” It took one second for my oldest daughter, then seven years old, to say to me, “Mom, you didn’t sound very nice to that person when you ordered.” Indeed, I don’t think I did. In fact, I was trying to consume some caffeine so that I could find the energy to be nice for the duration of the day to my own family. It was at that moment that I realized that my kids are watching me and my actions...every minute.
Every morning before my feet hit the floor and I start the marathon day of being a mom, I pray for the strength to set a good example for my kids. Nearly 11 years ago (“BK” - “Before Kids”), I would saw that I was a nice person, but extremely impatient with process. The process of what, you ask? The process of anything I would exclaim! What motherhood has taught me, admit tingly against my nature, is to embrace the process of of things - all things. As a mom, I have had to learn patience - and a lot of them.
As a list maker and goal oriented person, it was difficult for me not to measure my day by what I accomplished. Instead, I quickly realized that motherhood was indeed a process and I would cross less of my daily task list, but have larger goals to strive for accomplishing - like raising good “little people” that will someday become good “big people.” This is a hard thing to measure on a daily basis. What I have come to realize is that if I strive to be my best (whether I accomplish anything or not that day) my kids are soaking that up like little sponges. I may not have made it to the grocery like I indeed to do, but I stopped to help a neighbor look for their lost dog for an hour. Again, I still have to make it to the grocery eventually, but what our kids learn by watching is how we react to things. It does, in fact, all add up to them in the long run.
Now I realize being the best version of myself every single day is impossible. I “lose it” like every mom and I have had to explain to my kids that in fact, I am a real person and not at all perfect under any measure. That is important for them to know and understand as well. I am growing and evolving into the person I want to be - one with my patience which I have had to learn due to hands on training from being a mom.
Now, being a mom means less to me about what I have done that day (although I do love a good list and crossing a task off it) and more about watching how my 10 year daughter reacts to “girl drama” or how my seven year old daughter shows good sportsmanship on the soccer field during a game. My four year old, well....I am still working on that one, but I know her independent and fun nature will add up to something unique in our family. In fact, I am a different mom to my youngest than I was when I started out on the journey of motherhood with my older kids. I have grown and changed over the past decade and my youngest reflects that growth in me. All in all, I have my kids to thank for helping me become, not only a better mom, but a better person.
Sunday, September 19, 2010 at 12:22PM 
